Plus de téléphone depuis hier, (je vis en rase campagne), mais une sinistre messagerie qui indique qu'il n'y a pas d'abonné au numéro demandé. Suis-je subrepticement morte? Ai-je filé sans crier gare abandonnant lâchement les stembrouilliens à leur triste sort (RMI coupé, chemins dévastés, petites affaires entre potes etc..) ? Des gens, inquiets téléphonent sur mon portable mais ça coûte...
J'appelle Free. Une boîte vocale me demande l'objet de mon appel, tapez un, tapez deux etc.. puis mes identifiants et mes codes, tapez un, tapez deux... Évidemment, je ne les ai pas. On m'affirme alors qu'on va me les envoyer par SMS mais, étonnant, on me demande, non pas mon numéro de portable... mais de téléphone fixe, cercle vicieux puisque j'appelle justement parce qu'il ne fonctionne pas ! Et évidemment, rien ne vient.
J'ai heureusement encore le net et sur le site, je trouve mes identifiants, ô stupeur, ce sont mes numéros de téléphone fixe, mauvais augure ! Je refais le 3244, j'envoie ce "code"... et j'obtiens évidemment "ce numéro n'est pas attribué", patate, bien sûr, c'est pour ça que je suis là.
Retour sur le net et je trouve finalement mes identifiants (les vrais cette fois, le site est mal foutu), rappel au 3244 et on me met enfin en relation avec un monsieur qui par chance parle français, ce n'est pas toujours le cas. D'une voix suave, il réclame mon numéro de téléphone, fixe et mobile, mon adresse mail etc... et au bout d'une recherche un peu longuette, me fournit gratos (enfin non, pas gratos) un superbe exemple de manipulation commerciale que voici. Je cite exactement la conversation:
- "C'est à la base plutôt une bonne nouvelle Madame Larrive" m'annonce-t-il glorieusement, avec cette manie qu'ils ont tous de faire sonner votre nom à chaque phrase comme si vous risquiez d'oublier que vous êtes bien vous.. "nous sommes en train d'améliorer nos services et il y a en ce moment des travaux de dégroupage sur votre zone qui vont vous être bénéfiques parce que bla bla..."
Je m'en fous. Je coupe.
- Et ça va durer longtemps?"
- Je ne sais pas Madame Larrive, quelques jours sans doute.."
- QUELQUES JOURS SANS TÉLÉPHONE ? Combien?"..
- Je l'ignore Madame Larrive, mais je vous conseille d'arrêter de temps en temps votre "free box" et de la redémarrer (!) vous verrez.." (!!)
Ça chauffe :
- Vous vous foutez de nous? Vous auriez pu prévenir les gens tout de même, c'est impensable!"
Réponse :
- Mais je vous ai prévenu, Madame Larrive !"
CQFD. Je disais que la manipulation s'apprend.
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No more phone since yesterday (and I live in open countryside, alone), but a sinister message indicating "there is no more subscriber to the called number." Am I secretly dead? Have I ran away from the village, cowardly abandoning the stembrouilliens at their sad fate (little muddles between friends, devastated paths, neo colonization.. and so on) ? People, worried, call me on my mobile, but hey, it's expensive ...
I call "Free". Voice-mail asks the object of my call, type one, type two etc.. then my "password" and my "codes", type one, type two and so on... Obviously, I have not. Type one. It is said they will send them to me via SMS but, surprisingly, they ask me, not my mobile number... but landline, an vicious circle because I called precisely because it doesn't work! And of course, nothing comes.
I hopefully have still the net and on the "Free" site, I find my password, o surprise, these are simply my landline numbers. Ominous! But I call again the 3244 and I send this "code"... and of course I get "this number is not assigned" etc. .. Of course !
Back on the net and I finally found my password (real this time, the site is badly screwed up), I call for the third time the 3244 and this time they put me in touch with a gentleman who fortunately speaks French (it happens they don't ! or not fluently, a mixt of araber and french wich sometimes gives hilarious sketches.. not very convenient when you are stressed). A soft voice. He asks my phone number, fixed and mobile, my email address ... and so on.. and after a little research, provides me a superb example of commercial manipulation. There is exactly the conversation:
- "This is in fact a good news Mrs Larrive" he tells me gloriously, with the mania they all have to sound your name in every sentence as if you may forget you are well you ! "We are going to improve our services and there is currently some works on unbundling in your area that will be more beneficial for you because ... "
I don't care. I cut.
- And it will last long? "
- I don't know Mrs. Larrive, probably a few days .. "
- A "FEW DAYS" WITHOUT PHONE? How much? "..
- I don't know I told you, but I suggest you to stop from times to times your "free box" and reboot it (!) and you will see well.. "(!)
I protest strongly:
- Are you kidding us? Are you joking of us? You could warn people before stopping their phone line all the same, it's unthinkable! "
Answer:
- But I had warned you, Madam Larrive! " (!!!)
CQFD*. When I said that manipulation is taught.. in commercial trainings (short ones) or schools !
*In french, "CQFD" is the initials of "Ce Qu'il Fallait Démonter", a mathematical expression meaning "that was asked to be proved" (understatement to say "problem resolved by evidence.")
I call "Free". Voice-mail asks the object of my call, type one, type two etc.. then my "password" and my "codes", type one, type two and so on... Obviously, I have not. Type one. It is said they will send them to me via SMS but, surprisingly, they ask me, not my mobile number... but landline, an vicious circle because I called precisely because it doesn't work! And of course, nothing comes.
I hopefully have still the net and on the "Free" site, I find my password, o surprise, these are simply my landline numbers. Ominous! But I call again the 3244 and I send this "code"... and of course I get "this number is not assigned" etc. .. Of course !
Back on the net and I finally found my password (real this time, the site is badly screwed up), I call for the third time the 3244 and this time they put me in touch with a gentleman who fortunately speaks French (it happens they don't ! or not fluently, a mixt of araber and french wich sometimes gives hilarious sketches.. not very convenient when you are stressed). A soft voice. He asks my phone number, fixed and mobile, my email address ... and so on.. and after a little research, provides me a superb example of commercial manipulation. There is exactly the conversation:
- "This is in fact a good news Mrs Larrive" he tells me gloriously, with the mania they all have to sound your name in every sentence as if you may forget you are well you ! "We are going to improve our services and there is currently some works on unbundling in your area that will be more beneficial for you because ... "
I don't care. I cut.
- And it will last long? "
- I don't know Mrs. Larrive, probably a few days .. "
- A "FEW DAYS" WITHOUT PHONE? How much? "..
- I don't know I told you, but I suggest you to stop from times to times your "free box" and reboot it (!) and you will see well.. "(!)
I protest strongly:
- Are you kidding us? Are you joking of us? You could warn people before stopping their phone line all the same, it's unthinkable! "
Answer:
- But I had warned you, Madam Larrive! " (!!!)
CQFD*. When I said that manipulation is taught.. in commercial trainings (short ones) or schools !
*In french, "CQFD" is the initials of "Ce Qu'il Fallait Démonter", a mathematical expression meaning "that was asked to be proved" (understatement to say "problem resolved by evidence.")
