Comment se débarrasser d'un emmerdeur (surtout s'il a raison contre vous). Réservé aux gens de pouvoir, réel ou vocatif (lien, le texte en français).
For the politicians only : how to get rid of a "pain in the neck", mostly if this asshole is right against you in 8 point ! (Machiavel)
"Vote for me (assholes bands) and I will arrange
everything of huge shit where you were thrown
down by the "others"!"
Once upon a time.. it was an embarrassing appointment with a
recalcitrant, appointment to which you have been sent by the mayor (your
superior), in which you know you'll have to give something... that your boss
wants to refuse, using you as fuse-screen (in a delicate case where for example
it / you are in an illegal situation, say whether it's urgent work on a path
become dangerous.. and that the angry man is precisely a redneck who has fallen
down in this path, very dissatisfied of a bump on his ass... and for a broken
promise.. yours! Quickly, you are in deep shit.
1 BE LATE, A BASIC PRINCIPLE. Deliberately you have to arrive late
by half an hour or, if the interlocutor is really difficult, three-quarter of
an hour (do not phone him before nor apologize, or indirectly and almost insulting
manner, [you 're tired, you have had an important appointment before, you are
cold, hot, or fever etc .. in short you are not anyone (implying like him.)]
Never use the word "delay "but" problems "or necessity,
talk of another case, of your implication everywhere, of your overwork, he will
feel uncomfortable: he contributes to your fatigue. The waiting in any way will
upset him and make him (maybe) lose his means. Ideally of course it ought to
take place in the rain or the cold, outside, that's is the best.
2 TRY to PUSH him OF A DEPARTURE. You have
consented to come, make it clear, he owes you something. During the first a
part of its speech, (on a secondary point), be aloof on this point clear, take
a dubiously, distracted or upset air, as a doctor whose a nurse gives him his
diagnosis. Then, if necessary, be assertoric resolutely against his saying
whatever the evidence of the truth that you can see (but still in a neutral
tone, that of the specialist) .. and especially if it is blatant! In order to
exasperate him, to make him tired out. Advertise for example if your redneck
complains of a rampage (that you can see) whose a friend of you is responsible
: "There is no regulation on this issue" so that: 1 there is one, of
course, that you know very well, obviously ... 2 he knows it.. and knows that
you know it. Guaranteed results in every way: if he ignores the law,
(unlikely), it is won ! it will be silent, dismayed and this point is finished
; but if he knows the law, (and that you are lying or wrong), it is virtually
certain he will be pissed, which is not bad either. If he indulges in anger,
you have won.
You will hold here an excuse for long
digressions which upset those who face bad faith, that will position you
better. You are the one who calls to account, who can say anything. He will
feel obliged to give you his sources, etc. to justify the obvious ... (It's
better if you are face to face because then you can always deny having said
this enormity, you'll remember more etc. .. Otherwise, act more carefully,
especially if the truth is easily verifiable because that could be used against
you and put you in a difficult situation : either you are a jerk or in bad
faith.) if he replies, just nod your head but be careful, don't tell nothing,
express nothing (silence and indifference are more destabilizing and, if the
words can be reported, facial expressions can’t be!) and / or continue with
something else.
If he is hard... and asks questions again,
without visible aggressive or worse, with humour ("but you know it anyway,
right?") made the guy who has not heard. If he insists, let go a little
soft (a little humours is not bad) by pretending not to be a specialist and
hurry to change the subject in digressing, citing examples ... that have
nothing to do, it will (sometimes) upset him more. But if he replies calmly
...that it has nothing to do! you can't
avoid, then, you must yield, but then always find a personal argument for agree
with him (never used his own: it is you who do, who think, who order, not him.)
You will be time to review your position after (or even to reverse it!)
3 WHITE ARROGANCE. Pretend not to see what is
in the favour of your redneck even and especially if it is obvious. Ignore it.
For example, if he has cleared a path where now everybody can pass freely, never mention it, this is normal...
and even make the surprised if he speaks
of his work : "really? It was impractical?" .. and quickly change the
subject. You are the one who judges and appreciates, he is the redneck who asks
a favour. Better, though more difficult depending on the person, if you feel
him falter, you can criticize -slightly- what he has done, even and especially
if it is perfect and an hard work. It will be pissed ... or can also react with
humour, then you've failed, too bad.
4 CHANGE THE SUBJECT. At a suggestion from the
redneck, ("we could do by example like this") take an air of
immediately indignant about this point of detail.. on various pretexts
(aesthetic, practical etc. ..) And speak a long time about that, you will won
time and upset the beast. Then, if he don't return to the body the subject, it
is folded: there is no accord, not about the works you ought to do! but just
about the methods.. and time that we hear ... (then, in case of legal problems,
you could always hide you behind that point which "had blocked
everything", your good faith is intact) ..
Then, if you can''t do otherwise, return to the
topic by agreeing finally to the solution..
as if you yield him by pure kindness ... "Yes, basically, you're right, I am not
opposed" (you must always act as if you were asked permission, even if it
is not the case because the law does not require you to agree-, it
destabilizes*) but again, always find an argument yours, never use of his: what
he says has no interest, you listen him just by courtesy, it is you who know,
who decides, he had to understand that. Be the one who would consent (perhaps,
stay resolutely vague) by long-suffering, even if you are in pretty bad
trouble. You will always be time to add in fine (but not right away) that it is
not you alone who decide, and that despite all your good will and justice of
the cause, you can not provide any guarantee. This, it will be the last word.
5 THE "DELIBERATE BLUNDER". If
another REDNECK ARRIVES (embarrassing, but it is obviously necessary to look
good) be kind to him but in passing, launch him a slightly hurtful sentence,
without stress, smiling. For example, if he says that he knows you, reply that
you not, you don't remember him "you see so many people" etc.. it's
light but can impress a redneck and make him uncomfortable ... (maybe) : you
are someone important, not him. If this does not destabilize him, too bad, it
had to try.
6 THE BAD FAITH. If you can, lift another
reason that supposedly could prevent the works required ... For instance you
have to pass through a property and the owner refuses, you can nothing with
that. Of course, it is an false pretext,
but the redneck can be fooled, it's to try.
If not, (he replies that it is impossible.. and
he is right!) it is missed, evade
quickly, you have lost, do not push more. Concede him something (but never
anything concrete) to save face, ignoring the bitter negotiation underpinned by
a threat from your opponent. If you are bad, (he mentions a promise not kept
for example), avoid, or when it is not possible to do otherwise, invoke vaguely
a major cause, financial or other ... (you both know it is only a pretext) ..
and continue without giving him time to respond. If your partner, decidedly
rude or humorous, calmly dismisses your explanation, look surprised and repeat firmly, as if it
were obvious. This can exasperate. If this is not the case, change the subject
quickly.
8 BULLYING HARD
If you are really in a bad trip (say the
redneck fell into a ditch and is thereby fairly dissatisfied) courage, go ahead
with a bluff, even huge, it is to try. Threat the guy to ban (for example) the
passing .. (he has no other way to reach his land, no matter, be brave!) He may
flatten immediately, desperate : you have won. But it is also possible that he
replies "you do not have the right to do that". Here, but only if you
are alone together, you can make a gesture, a mimic (but beware, never a word) which clearly
means "the right, I piss on it." However, beware of hidden cameras.
9 THE CONVERSATION from gentlemen to gentlemen..
Finally, agree with him on a theory which does
not eat bread (for example, protection of earth, it works well, even if all
your speech before, in fact, had to aim to justify a plunder of a common path
by a "friend" yours!) You will leave reiterating that you are
ecologist (!) and go talk in high places in favour of the redneck (never
mention the others who pass also on the path) do like if it was his own
problem, and only his own!) ... but unfortunately without certainty (even if
such warranty was already given a long time ago !) It is a excellent way to
return back by pretending to move things forward ! That is the principle,
essential. Desperate the rednecks in order they don't dare to move. Here, he
had believed the cause won, but, coup of theatre, it is a decline! So shall it
be less at ease by going the next day to see your boss. You have done your job
and will probably be congratulated.
* Example, when a guy tells you (and not ask)
that he will made analyze the water of
the river, try to discourage it, it's expensive, it has no legal value , it is
useless ... and if he don't yield,
announce nobly "I do not object" even though you can't do
under any circumstances. He will thank you (maybe)... or retort that "in every way you can't
do." It's to try.
_____________________
On the other side, do not be fooled. Point out
the delay, but without aggressiveness. Make like if you are not cold,
exhausted, upset. . Use a neutral or firm and resolute tone, "political",
quiet, slightly condescending. Return to the subject constantly. Ten times if
necessary and it is, usually. Be clear, correct, but always friendly, use the
patient tone of a teacher to a bounded pupil. Don't hesitate, if you are
confronted a lie or an against-truth, to denounce it with humour. Repeat you
that policies need you more than vice
versa .. and all these theatre pieces are basically a circus where only are
playing... the balance of power. The eidetic quibbles are just pretexts. Your
elected knows very well that you are right, (morally and legally, it is
evident) and that he is "wrong". He is already bad positioned with
respect to you .. and his supposed caution on arguments he claims
require.. is just a farce in order to
avoid if possible to keep his promises ... or save face when he will be
constrained to do.
What can I do, me, single, alone? Tout. Everything. (In the shark's teeth.)
